Sunday, January 15, 2017

"As you sow so you shall reap" - and please be not be surprised by what you reap!

Sunday, January 15, 2017
oldbearnews editor

I came across this article today vie the wonderful world of Internet --->
www.flirting is now a crime??

and could not help feeling that I knew this was going to happen - or be vindicated in that thought!
Let me explain -

Some 20 years earlier - and yes this old foggie no longer can remember the exact date - (I am sure however that some clever brick can dig the relevant date out from the Uk court records) it was reported in the media on a landmark case involving a sales agent (female) who won a court case against a client (of the firm she worked for). Basically she been to this car-garage many times before to sell her company's products - except this time she had to go into the "tea" room rather then the office, as staff where on their tea-break when she called in, and of-course as in so many places at the time, there was a automobile themed "girlie" calendar on the wall - which left her  feeling "uncomfortable" - so she ran off to the courts and argued her case - and won - much to the consternation of the public and lawyers at the time! At the time the comment was, that the courts  judgment was based NOT ON WHAT the law of the land said (as it was not ill-legal to have this type of calendar on a wall) rather it was based on HOW a individual might feel in any given circumstances! That of-course can change from day to day let alone in the mood of anyone at any given time. How can you keep dispensing justice fairly and evenly???  There were dire predictions that if this trend continues it would lead to - a lot of unpleasant living conditions.
Well, it has of course continued and leads us to the above article.
The fear of being sued by American style justice has gripped most of the western world and leads us to being muzzled. We no longer can freely say what we think because we "might" offend someone. How do we know, what we say is ok from one person to another person- or is not ok??

I long for the old playground banter from decades ago where you just ignored a verbal joust or simply told the other person to "get lost" and carried on in whatever game you were in.
Nowadays we have to run of to mummy / teacher / older sibling / or lawyers to "sort out" whatever perceived insult you feel you just received.  It is deferred action and justice for oneself! Further - we are no longer encouraging a self-determination on this as it could lead to fights etc - better to run of to the teacher etc . . . . .  We are shifting the responsibility from one-self to another authority.  

Thus the landmark case in the UK was just the sowing of todays society where flirting and chivalry are an extreme dicey thing to engage, for you never know who might take it as a compliment or an insult. Better not to say anything at all.
Better not to risk anything! After all it might lead you to a court appearance.
And I contend that as a society, we are worse off for it.  We are now reaping for the attitudes sown 20-30 years back.  As a society we almost lost the art of social and verbal engagement (especially if it involves a male/female), of sparring verbally ideas and concepts to a point where we are all becoming well - just bland.

We are indeed reaping, what was sown 20 years back.
There is no easy fix and any fix will take another 20-50 years of ploughing / sowing / weeding the field etc, a time-frame that will be beyond my own life expectancy.  I feel sorry for todays youth though - after all - it is not their fault that we are in this fix.

If you are still with me at this point and tend to disagree with the above written- do yourself a favor and engage in some light hearted flirting at various places and reflect on the response you get . . . . .

"Whatever one sows, that will he also reap!"

From the Urban dictionary

1. Everything that you do has repercussions. It comes back to you one way or another.
2. You cannot escape the consequences of your actions. What you do comes back to you.
3. You will see the long-term effects of your actions.
4. KARMA - The total effect of a person's actions and conduct during the successive phases of the person's existence, regarded as determining the person's destiny, especially, in his next incarnation.
5. What goes around comes around.
6. Your actions all have consequences. Don't ever be fooled into thinking that your actions don't have consequences. Don't think you can get away with bad choices even if you don't seem to get caught. 
Watch the way you live your life because you reap what you sow.
7. We sow in one season, we reap in another.
8. Sow a thought you reap an act. Sow an act, you reap a habit. Sow a habit, you reap a character. Sow a character, you reap a consequence.

snip --------------------------------------------------

The full article here in case they dump the web-page in some near future:

Celia Walden: When did flirting become a crime?

When was the last time a man openly flirted with you?
"There you go, my lovely," says the greengrocer, handing over the sweet potatoes.
"Is the "lovely" for me or her?" I ask playfully, gesturing at my five-year-old daughter. Whereupon an odd thing happens. The greengrocer blanches, swallows and stutters, "I didn't say 'lovely'. I didn't call anyone 'lovely'."
And what was a good-natured little interaction between two people on a bright and frosty Saturday morning has suddenly been warped into something strained, worrisome.
Why? Because the man thinks I'm going to ask to speak to his boss, accuse him of a smorgasbord of 'isms' and demand some form of retribution/compensation for the affront suffered.
Welcome to 2017, folks: the year flirting officially became a crime. Now let me be clear: after reading and running, flirting is one of my top three pursuits. I'd even go so far as to call it an addiction.
Ever since I first felt the peculiar biochemical change that occurs when two people engage in playful banter, at 13, I have scoured pretty much every occasion - social, professional or otherwise - for the pilot light that will allow me to engage in what I see as one of the purest celebrations of life that there is. I flirt with men; I flirt with women.
I'd flirt with a table leg if it had a nice line in badinage. Because it's not about sex. It's not even about seduction. It's about veering off into a little cadenza that may mean everything, or, most probably, nothing at all.
It's about - as Wikipedia will remind you - "a social and rarely sexual activity involving verbal or written communication as well as body language by one person to another, either to suggest interest in a deeper relationship with the other person, or if done playfully, for amusement."
Amusement - remember that? And I'll tell you something that's not covered by that definition; something so deeply off-message that I'm half expecting my keyboard to rise up in PC outrage and auto-delete the following words: when talking to a man, I like to be reminded that I am a woman.

I like there to be an implicit nod to my femininity, an appreciation that I am a different creature - not inferior, just different. Rarely will young men engage in that subtle and sweetly antiquated doffing of the cap now.
It would be inappropriate, the girls warn - before posting pictures of themselves naked and wrapped in toilet paper on Instagram.
And so those tender little exchanges - homages really, to women and womanhood - are left to the men of over 50, who - sentimental fools that they are - will occasionally still be ignorant enough to call a woman "my lovely."
By the time my daughter is a teenager, I'm not sure there will be a cabbie alive who will have the temerity to call her 'love', the disrespect to help her with her bags or the condescension to wait until she lets herself into the house of an evening before driving off.
And I can only hope that she has enough 'impropriety' in her soul to make her own fun in what looks likely to become a very brittle world.

Reports The Telegraph

By Celia Walden

Post script - since then found a video online that literally quotes my point - you know - "the reap what you sow" part - although it talks about the Trump presidential elections!

Have fun! bear print

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