Monday, September 30, 2013

Austrian Bed and Breakfast owner is thinking of growing coffee-beans

Monday, September 30, 2013
oldbearnews editor

Global warming does have it's benefits. Wait - before you scold me - let me explain how I got to this view. Back in the dark ages - before New Zealand became truly connected to the world - I came to this country. It was somewhat quaint and well - rather isolated place. Stepping of the plane after a dark 24 hour flight and having left Europe in darkness with snow falling - I was indeed tempted to kiss the tarmac sort-of Pope-like. After being cooped up (like sardines) for that length of time in a aluminum coffin - it was indeed very tempting but I ended abstaining from this time honored activity, mainly because the local constabulary may not have appreciated my copycat gesture and may have arrested me. Not a good start to the year of voluntary service in Godzone. In any case - Global warming - well - it was a change from -5 degrees in Europe and arriving at a pleasant +25 Degrees Celsius. Very warm. Very nice.  So I settled in and remembered stories from the Austrian National Ski team here on a "Summer" training camp late August the previous year. They did train near Mount Hutt / Methven - and surprise surprise had to go and 'book' a telephone-call back to Austria via a Telecom Operator. By this stage all of Austria had been for some time on a exchange that did not need a operator.
The other main thing was - I had been exposed to drinking coffee for breakfast and at other times during the exhaustive day which necessitated a warm pick-me-up drink. I quickly learned upon arriving here - that you could get only - well - yes Instant coffee. Eeeeek.

There was one shop in town where you could buy fresh beans - but they had to be ground down and then used in the old-fashioned kettle-boil method. From Filters - no sight. Maybe they were into protecting trees even at that early stage. So after trying to be inventive and using toilet paper and other assorted filters to strain my ground beans a SOS was sent to Salzburg. 2 weeks later - bliss.

Nowadays of course - with international closeness and the whole world being a village you can just-about buy anything from anywhere - and if not directly then via indirect imports. There are coffee's of all sorts - fresh / green / roasted / vacuum packed / frothed / mixed with chocolate - Mint - Cinnamon - Milk - and whatever else you can think of. Even George Clooney is selling the "Brand"!

What does this have to do with Global warming?? I am getting to that.


 A; we are moving in a northerly direction (that is half of NZ -the other half is sliding southwards and under.
B; the Ice is melting. Now the Ice melting has nothing to do with us living down there and doing research on how or why the Ice is melting. Rumors' that we are pouring hot water out is simply just not true. Nor has it anything to do with the hot coffee's being served there for the good staff doing research into the various scientific causes. Nor has it anything to do with all the hot air coming from the Beehive (NZ Parliament) or the research boffin's down there agreeing - or not - on various scientific matters such as holes in the air and how to measure them. Rather - so the story goes - the Cars and Cows are the culprits. Hmmmm both are C's. So the two big C's are squelching forth various gases that are just part of their natural life cycle. As a friend of mine so eloquently put it - "If you ain't farting -then your not alive"!  Seems we have a few too many real life farting corpses of varying ages and abilities not to mention the cars and so all this excess additional odor goes where gases usually go - right up in the air. There the various gases  congregate and mix and mingle and perhaps even procreate - who knows??  In places it is so thick that you can no longer see the sun on a good day!   However we now have this thick layer of exhaustive matter above our heads, and - I shall refrain from jokes about - urm - well - dirty matter flying - or hitting the Fan. Meanwhile all these gases trap hot air - rather then letting them escape into the greater Universe. Quite why we would want to pollinate the rest of the universe with our own man/cow/car made odor is beyond me in the first place but there you go - they used to go out leaving the mother earth behind - and now they are not.  End result - it is supposedly getting warmer.

Well this Author has no problems with that. For a start - longer sunnier days on the beach are just the tonic for a stressed soul. Much much more importantly though - with the excess warm air warming up the Northern Island, we are now at a point were we can seriously consider growing a different variety of crop and yes various types of beans - Including the much valuable coffee bean. If successful we would then become a exporter of New Zealand Coffee, and that would be a good thing for the local farmers. Further more the coffee would become dirt cheap, to the point they may even give them away (here is hoping) for free. Naturally the local farmers would have to compete with the guy down the road who would want to grow chocolate (which as you know also comes from a bean and likes the warmer climates) and THAT would please Mamabear no end.  There are endless possibilities - Banana's / pineapples / coconut and papaya to name a few.  In any case with the coffee consumption having risen significantly with one Cousin already having been here and another Cousin due soon-ish here in the tropics - this may prove to be a good investment / past time for this bed and breakfast owner. Wonder how long it takes to grow coffee trees and how long from harvest to sipping the local brew??? And can I keep the local dog from eating the tender shoots?

Will keep you posted.

 On this note - goes into the kitchen and boils some water and adds some brown ground stuff to the mug and checks the fridge for cream.

Have fun

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