Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Christmas Reindeer jokes

Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Christmas Santa Claus Bear

Urm - you know with the internet - I got these given for work - they are some short Christmas reindeer jokes. Enjoy

One day, Santa saw a young deer with a glowing nose of red...he smiled at him and waved to young creature. The deer dropped his bottle of gin and exclaimed "Oh Sh!t...it's Santa!" And ran away. Santa rubbed his beard and shook his head. "I think I'll call that one Rude-off."

What do reindeer say before telling you a joke ?
This one will sleigh you !

Why is a reindeer like a gossip ?
Because they are both tail bearers !

Why do reindeer wear fur coats ?
Because they would look silly in plastic macs !

How do you make a slow reindeer fast ?
Don't feed it !

Why did the reindeer wear black boots ?
Because his brown ones were all muddy !

How long should a reindeer's legs be ?
Just long enough to reach the ground !

Why did the reindeer wear sunglasses at the beach ?
Because he didn't want to be recognised !

Which reindeer have the shortest legs ?
The smallest ones !

Where do you find reindeer ?
It depends on where you leave them !

What do reindeer have that no other animals have ?
Baby reindeer !

This is the tale of the Crist family who worked at a zoo. Each year they claimed to be able to predict the overall mood of the year by watching the animals. In particular, the gnu's who, if their ears were forward, predicted a successful, joyous year, but it their ears were laid back flat, predicted a sorrowful, disastrous year. One year it was young Mary's turn to "survey" the animals and come up with the prediction. It was her first time solo, and in her excitement, she forgot to check on the gnus. Well, she botched it, predicting a bad year, when in fact it was quite good. In explanation, the next winter solstice, the local newspaper ran the following headline: ...
Mary Crist misses an happy gnu's ear!

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.
Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.
We should've known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat jolly old man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

Dasher: Hey, what's that reindeer doing with Santa's sled?
Rudolph: He's just Vixen the broken engine




There must be more - feel free to leave your jokes via the comments section

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