Tuesday, August 4, 2009

The Nature of Hell

Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Evil hell teddy bearThe nature of hell is often discussed. The following is an actual question on a Reed College (Portland, Oregon) chemistry mid-term exam. The answer by one student was so profound, that the professor shared it colleagues via the internet, which is of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well. (Then of course this citation of hell could be just a big fat urban myth - who knows????)

Bonus Question:
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or Endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant thereof.

One student, however, wrote the following:
First we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefor, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more then one of these religions and since people do not belong to more then one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we can look at the rate of change of volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionality as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1; If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2; Of course, if Hell is expanding at a faster rate than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it???
If we accept the word given to me by Ms Teresa Baynan during my first year at UNI ".....that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.

The student received the only "A"

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